Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I Own Nothing

I was "09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0" or 11497989095545517501 pico seconds old when I realized how screwed up copyright, trademark, intellectual property rights, and so forth are.

As a result, I hereby claim ownership of the numer 0 and all permutations thereof. This number is used in a highly technical scheme utilized by myself to protecty my own copyrighted digital materials. As such any usage of this number by anyone else is in violation of the DMCA.

That means, 0, zero, nothing, null, ziltch, nada, 000, 0.0, and so on (including the 128 bit version and any other 128 bit integers that utilize the number 0). Any usage of the number 0 will result in royalties paid to yours truly or legal action.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Required Reading

This should be required reading before being allowed to have an opinion in public.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Mayo Movie

My father-in-law knows how to make some very good eclairs. They take a long time, but that flakey chocholatey goodness is worth it.

Back when my wife and I were dating we arrived at her parents house late one night at the end of a date. Her dad had made eclairs that day, so we were more than happy to indulge in a couple. One had been left on the counter for her (I'm sure not expecting me to be coming in), so she gave it to me and went to the fridge to get herself another. Boy did it look good. I had eaten these eclairs before and knew the wonder I was about to experience.

Normal people would have taken a huge bite, allowing the creamy pudding to run out over their hands and face, leaving a little spot of chocholate on the tip of their nose. I am not normal, and am incapable of eating anything with such disregard for getting anything on my hands or face. so I took a little bite. Mmm the chocholate, how wonderful. Then another and another. Something was wrong with the pudding. It wasn't sweet. It wasn't runny. It was mayonaise! AAAAHH!!!! Disgusting! (It happened to have been April 1st) I didn't eat another eclair for a couple of years after that.

Spiderman 3 is like a mayonaise filled eclair. You've had one before (both the first and the sequel). To all outward appearances (trailers, actors, director, etc.) it contains the same ingredients. You are expecting something wonderfully entertaining. When you get to the middle of it though, you realize you've been tricked into watching some B level independent arthouse flick. yuck!

A better alternative for a movie to watch this week would be to go rent George and the Dragon.