Monday, November 19, 2007

Beowulf: Literary classic...

...or animated porn?

The movies rating board ought to be slapped around for this one. As much gruesome violence as any rated R movie, plus an "animated" Angelina Jolie in the buff (animated, as in a drawing of porn instead of real porn...WTF?). When Beowulf is fighting Grendel in the buff, there is clever prop positioning to hide his naughty bits. When Angelina gets a full body scan, I swear they pixelated some nipple. How's that different than wearing just body paint? The animation isn't as good as they think it is either. They're still wedged firmly down in the uncanny valley (stiff animations, waxy skin, etc.).

After seeing the movie (which really was an OK flick), I looked up the story on the intertubes to get a better idea of what was going on, and what that ending was supposed to have meant. After reading a few paragraphs here and there, and reading a summary, I've decided the movie doesn't really follow the original story. The irony of it is that this hollywood version is a total condemnation on the behavior of most of the people in hollywood.

What we get in the movie is a theme demonstrating that those who yield to temptation, whether it be lusting after flesh, glory, treasure, or power, bring pain and misery to themselves, those around them, and others. A truth that has rarely, if ever, been told by those who are the most instantly gratified, self-indulgent, wicked people since the earth was flooded some thousands of years ago (maybe that southern california fire is a sign).

Here's a surprise (not), the main actress/hottie has been fornicating (still not married is she?) all over the place, while building an international baby collection. Just how screwed up are those kids going to be (Oh, hi Maddox. You're that accessory that your mom picked up in Cambodia aren't you, welcome to college.)? I'm sure she's a nice person and does lots of humanitarian things, but come on, this kid still is going to have cultural and "who's my dad" issues. But none of that factors in when she decided she wanted a child. "hmm. I'll take...that one." If she could figure out how to get married, stay married, and build a family, not a touring international circus, it would be a different story. As it is, Brad is the flavor of the month/year. Then the "father" will be ousted for a new replacement, while the mother raises her Grendel...ahem children.

How about every other liberal nutjob who wants right now whatever will bring them pleasure right now. Friends, family, or civilization/culture be damned.

No left coast hypocrite (ask one to talk about intolerance some time. hehe) is going to get what that movie is saying, and they came up with it. Ha!

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Blogger Matt "The Bull" said...

uh... wowzers.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Scout Masta T said...

Meh, I think most celebrities are legally insane.

Kookoo's Nest!
Kookoo's Nest!

10:54 PM  
Blogger Matt "The Bull" said...

I still think Angelina is hot. and if shes necked. its worth a good eye plucking :)

5:22 AM  
Blogger April said...

I just want you to know that I advised people I know to read your "review" before going to see this. They didn't and HATED the movie. They did however really enjoy Live Free or Die Hard.

10:17 PM  
Blogger Jeff Freeman said...

It definitely deviated from the original story, and basically told a greek story with set-pieces and costumes from an entirely different culture.

Grendel's mother isn't meant to be seen as a person of any sort, but a symbol of temptation and sin. Her children likewise are metaphors, rather than people, of - to be brief - comeuppance.

All the innocent victims that die in the movie aren't people, either - but symbols of success (and responsibilities to care of things), which past sins come to strip away.

Hollywood tells that same story all the time: Give in to temptation, enjoy the rewards in the short term, pay hell when the time comes (and it always comes).

They tell it over and over - and before Hollywood is was told over and over for several thousand years - so this time is no big shock, to me.

That the moral of the story eluded them again isn't either, really.

I was surprised to see the bit about how Christianity had made heroism fall out of fashion, in favor of martyrdom... That's a difference between the viking culture and the Christened-greek one I hadn't thought about before.

But as the story itself was firmly rooted in the greek tradition, even that seemed like one of the borrowed props.

As was Beowulf himself.

I didn't realize that it wasn't rated-R 'til I read this. That is a shock.

12:53 AM  

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